Hello folks,

This is my first post going undercover as a conservative opinion writer.  My 8 year old daughter CAN NOT FIND OUT about my secret life as a conservative.  Folks call it “splitting” – I call it, my own personal nightmare. I’m currently hiding in the guest room while she is doing “handstands to undo-whiteness” in the kitchen.  It bears repeating – DO NOT TELL HER ABOUT THIS!

Usually when I’m checking Twitter, she’s there, watching my every move. I feel compelled to write about her latest woke profundities to share with the rest of the world for fear she will have me cancelled or WORSE. 

For example, today she said, “AOC didn’t need to be in the building to have FELT what it was like to be raped by white supremacists, we all felt it that day.”  I had no choice but to post it in earnest!!  Anyway, I look forward to giving my thoughts on all things political and cultural from up here in the guest room (under the bed) with regular updates on the state of my 8 year old (who totally exists).